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Star Trek: The Most Important Voyage
Kirk, Spock and Scott run past the camera across the field.
EXT. ANOTHER OPEN FIELD - DAY
Kirk, Spock and Scott run past the camera across the field.
EXT. THIRD OPEN FIELD - DAY
Kirk, Spock and Scott run past the camera across the field yet again. Kirk slows the other two down, and they stop to catch their breath.
By the way, gentlemen, where the hell are we going?
About three hundred yards that way.
Let's go.
EXT. KAHN'S MACHINERY COMPLEX - DAY
Kirk, Spock and Scott come running up.
Looks like this is our destination.
Fascinating. This apparatus would allow for the set up of the time-space interface, or "rip", that could transport the Romulan vessels into our space without detection. The extreme power necessary seems to be drawn from the heat of the planet's core. This would also allow Kahn to transport Teel's crew such a long distance from his ship to this planet. With this technology, an entire fleet could simply materialize in the sky. Kahn is a genius.
Aye. But tha interface could easily be distorted by a strongly magnetic substance like this.
(indicates the sample of titanium shielding)
But this isn't nearly enough. We'll have to get more from tha ship. And Ah don't know where tha main power core is, either.
Scotty, secure additional titanium from the ship and beam it down. But under no circumstances do I want you to return to the planet surface. Mr. Spock and myself will apply the alloy to the power core. Spock, perhaps the Horta could be induced to assist us.
Spock nods.
But sar --
Scotty, stay with the Enterprise. It is your duty to hold off those Romulan ships and buy us time to disrupt the space interface.
But couldn't we just distruey tha mechanism with tha ship's phasers?
Well, because... Say, Spock, that's a good question.
Negative, Mr. Scott. The magnetic imbalance would draw in the Enterprise. She would be pulled down to the planet surface. You must maintain a safe distance for us to disrupt the field.
Aye, Mr. Spock.
And Scotty, remember that you have in your custody one of the most vicious criminal geniuses the world has ever known.
Jackson, sir? Aye, tha lad has been known to commandeer a bottle of Scotch from time to time, but he's hardly a criminal...
I'm referring to Kahn. Put your best people on him -- knock him out if you have to, but hold him tight!
Aye, sar.
(flips open communicator)
This is Mr. Scott. Ready to beam up.
Scott BEAMS UP. His outer clothing has been left behind in a small pile. Kirk notices the pile.
Spock, what do you suggest?
I suspect Mr. Scott will contact us momentarily.
Kirk's communicator BEEPS.
Kirk here.
Scott here, sar. By any chance, are my --
They're right here, Mr. Scott. Transporter malfunction?
Ah think so, sar.
Standing by. Now then, Mr. Spock, about our reluctant friend the Horta...
I believe I may be able to convince the creature to assist us...
Scott REMATERIALIZES in his tee-shirt and boxers and gathers up his clothes impatiently.
We should have tha mechanism operating by the time you two are ready to return to tha ship.
Carry on, Mr. Scott.
Scott holds his shirt and trousers in his hands. As he DEMATERIALIZES, his bundle of clothes and those he had been wearing all COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND. Kirk and Spock watch this, then look at each other.
If Star Fleet's top engineer can't fix that... we'd better call the ship and tell them to have a couple of robes standing by.
Spock nods.
INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM - DAY
Jackson and two Security Guards await Scott. He MATERIALIZES, naked.
Ohma goodness!
EXT. LANDING AREA - DAY
Kirk and Spock are crouched behind a rock watching
THE HORTA.
Captain's log... Supplemental. Mr. Spock and myself are engaged in a tricky battle of wits with Kahn Noonian Singh and a dangerous band of Romulans, all with strange and... mysterious senses of humor. The only hope for defeating the Romulan invasion plan is to dismantle Kahn's space interface, with which he has literally opened a shortcut to another part of the galaxy. We depend on the Horta, an unpredictable creature, to assist us.
The Horta wears an apron and is tending a fire over which rests a frying pan on a wire grating. The Horta is swishing around busily and humming to itself. It picks up what looks like a metallic ball and breaks the contents into the frying pan as one would an egg.
Now, Spock!
Kirk and Spock rush at the creature with weapons drawn. It dashes over to a wall, where it has nowhere else to go. It swishes to the right, swishes to the left, and stops. STEAM RISES. It moves aside to reveal what it has written on the ground.
(continuing)
What is it, Spock?
A message, Captain. I believe it says "Up yours". Most curious, sir.
A code of some sort?
Perhaps. I do not believe it is an expression of good will.
I see. Negative, you think?
I'd so venture.
Can you communicate with it? Tell it what we want?
I can attempt a mind meld, though it will be difficult.
You've got to try, Spock. There seems to be no other way to get through to it.
Yes, Captain.
Spock rubs his hands, then closes his eyes, bends down, and lays his hands gently on the Horta's back. Heavy concentration. The Horta begins to swish.
Spock, are you getting through?
Spock grunts. The Horta swishes.
(continuing)
Speak to me, Spock.
Weel you get your handth off my back??
Spock snaps open his eyes.
Mr. Spock, I don't think that will be necessary.
(to Horta)
You must help us. Kahn is a madman. If we hadn't destroyed his device, this quadrant of the galaxy would be probably be under Romulan rule right now. You didn't realize that, but you can help now by showing us the main power core. We must close that space interface Kahn has set up up there before more Romulan spacecraft come through.
Deedn't you read my methage?
Horta, your planet, Janus VI, is in this quadrant. You can choose their fate by assisting us or ignoring us.
You lie. You have alwayth lied. Look what you deed to Kahn, leaving him on thith planet.
Kahn chose to remain here. He misled you. But I'm telling you the truth. Show us that core so we can avoid risking the enslavement of your planet and others in this region. Their freedom -- your freedom -- is at stake.
Very well. But thith I do for my people, not for you.
The Horta swishes toward the power station; Kirk and Spock look at each other and begin to shiver and swish as they walk, too.
The Horta stops.
They stop.
It swishes forward, then stops.
They do the same.
It swishes away with them following, swishing and shivering.
The Enterprise is surrounded by the three Romulan Lego and Tinkertoy ships.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
All is tense. The camera begins a SLOW PAN starting from Sulu and Jackson staring at the view screen, past Spock's Library Computer, where Chekov works busily, past Uhura's station where she sits staring at the view screen as well, over to the Command Chair from where Scott stares at the screen wearing a bathrobe (perhaps it's plaid).
Captain's log: supplemental. Tha Enterprise is facing three Romulan ships ready to attackus. Captain Kark is on tha planet below trying to shut down tha space interface and strand tha rest of tha Romulan fleet. Our engines are operable and Ah await orders from Star Fleet Command. All we can do is wait and hold down tha fort.
Lieutenant, have ya hard anythin' from Star Fleet?
Nothing yet, sir, but Maintenance reports they have completed repairs on the transporter and the titanium has been sent down to the planet surface.
A PRETTY YEOMAN brings a round of coffee to all on the Bridge; Scott smiles at her.
Aye. What's tha word on those hooligans we got down in tha brig?
Security reports everything under control, sir.
Meestare Scoatt. Computer reports the Teenkertoy sheeps cannot match the Enterprise in speed nor maneuverability, but their weapons are more powerful and can inflict more damage to thees sheep eef we are attacked unprepared.
Blazes, laddie, Ah canna understand ah bleedin' ward ya just said. Would ya repeat that?
We're faster, but they're stronger, Meestare Scoatt.
Mr. Scott, message coming through from Star Fleet Command. Priority Code Three, sir.
All right, Lieutenant. Let's hear it.
Enterprise, you are ordered to destroy the space interface and detain the three Romulan ships using any and all means at your disposal. Enterprise, off the record, this situation is crucial. Strictly sink or swim. To assist you, we've diverted the Poseidon and the Titanic.
Everybody on the Bridge looks at each other.
Uhura, acknowledge transmission and Star Fleet's... reinforcements. Tell them we'll defeat those Romulans if we have to bloo up this ship and that planet.
EXT. KAHN'S MACHINERY ROOM - DAY
As before.
Captain's log... Supplemental. The current situation is... quite desperate. I am faced with -- Forget it. You should know what's going on by now. If not, rewind the tape.
INT. KAHN'S MACHINERY ROOM - DAY
The door to the room opens as Kirk, Spock, and the Horta come swishing in.
The core ith there. But eet ith indethtructable. You cannot get at the plathma flow -- it would keel you.
If we could break open the cylinder and disrupt the flow with the titanium, that should break down the power supply...
(looks at Spock)
What is it, Spock?
This mechanism is fascinating: the evolution of the turbine generator, a configuration abandoned by Star Fleet over three hundred years ago. An amazingly simple, efficient machine. But Captain, the energy flow is attracted to any conducting source.
Spock puts his hand up to the glass of the cylinder and a RIBBON OF PLASMA STRETCHES TO TOUCH the inner surface beneath his hand.
(continuing)
If we were to open that core, the flow would disintegrate us as surely as a phaser bolt.
(indicates Horta)
Spock?
The Horta swishes toward the door.
Of course, Captain. Silicon is a semiconductor, and records have shown that Hortas can withstand phaser bolts at full power due to their silicon-based biological configuration. The creature could conceivably place the titanium alloy within the field.
The Horta tries to swish out the door, but Kirk steps in its way.
No, no! Not me!
As before.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
Scott sits in the Command Chair, focussed intently on the view screen.
Lieutenant, scan their transmissions and jam any goin' through tha interface.
Yes, Mr. Scott.
Maintain distance from tha magnetic field, Jackson. We don't want to be pulled down there.
Aye, sir.
Our pretty Yeoman brings a round of sandwiches to all on the Bridge during the following. Scott winks at her, and she smiles accommodatingly.
Mr. Scott, contact established with the Romulan flagship.
Put it through, Lieutenant.
Uhura presses a button. The face of TOOL wearing an arrow through his head appears on the view screen.
Enterprise, this is Sub-Commander Tool. We have lost contact with Sub-Commander Teel. You will release the Commander and surrender your ship or face destruction.
Meestare Scoatt! Eef we release the Sub-Commander, they weel destroy us eemmeediately!
Aye, laddie. Uhura, give me a channel to that ship. This is Engineer Scott, acting captain of tha Enterprise. In tha hold of this ship we've got a plasma reactor set ta blow at tha slightest bleedin' bad word. If ya slimes so much as sneeze at us, this ship'll uxploode and take tha loat'a'ya withus. Ah adviseya ta take that into consideration bafore ya goo makin' demands on tha likes of us.
Enterprise. What... what did you just say?
Meestare Scoatt said you'd bettare noat mess weeth us, you feelthy Romulan peegs or we weel blast you to blazes!
Another Romulan wearing bunny ears joins Tool on the view screen. They both look confused.
We are not receiving you clearly, Enterprise.
Acting Commander Scott warns you not to attack this wessel. We are prepared to destroy ourselves and you if necessary.
Very well, enterprise. We give you ten of your earth minutes. At the end of that time, we will destroy your ship. Sub-Commander Teel will have sacrificed himself honorably.
Commander, Ah'm takin' tha Enterprise into tha interface. There Ah'll detonate this ship and decimate yar fleet here and on tha other side. Just try and stoppus. Scott out. Sulu, set course far that whatever-it-is.
Yes sir.
EXT. ENTERPRISE - DAY
The Enterprise heads toward the Rip, which SHIMMERS in the distance. The Romulan ships pursue menacingly.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
Mr. Sulu, ready photon torpedoes. Target: tha center of that blasted hole.
Torpedoes armed and ready, sir.
Well fire 'um, lad.
Sulu FIRES.
The TORPEDO goes THROUGH the interface field to the unseen territory on the other side.
(continuing)
Nothing. It's like shootin' a cloud. Lay me a full spread of torpedoes around that hole, set ta explode upon tha approach of any more Romulan ships. We'll give 'um a mine field.
Aye, sir.
The Romulan Sub-Commander, Mr. Scott.
Scott nods.
On the view screen, Tool APPEARS wearing goofy teeth, a party hat and a clown suit.
Enterprise, you see we have adopted war dress. You have five minutes to deliver Sub-Commander Teel to us.
Another Romulan, this one in a gorilla suit, whispers something into Tool's ear.
(continuing)
My orders have been received. We wait no longer. Prepare to die, Enterprise.
If one more ship attempts ta come or go through that hole, it'll be history bafore it can scream. And Ah've already set this ship ta blow in three minutes, with a range of one light year, so run cryin'. Scott out.
INT. BRIG - DAY
Kahn, Teel and the other Romulans are under heavy guard by three or four Enterprise CREWMEN, headed by SECURITY OFFICER JACKSON.
Ohhh! Ohhh!
What is wrong, Comrade? Guard! Guard, this man is sick!
I got an aspirin.
Jackson fishes an aspirin out of his utility belt and attempts to toss it through the force field in the doorway. The aspirin EXPLODES.
Ohhh! Ohhh!
We haven't time for your games, Guard. Can't you see he's dying?
Listen you slimy little --
The Red Alert SOUNDS.
All personnel to battle stations. Repeat: all personnel to battle stations.
That's my cue, scuzzbags. It's time to wipe the floor of the galaxy with some fresh Romulan corpses.
Ohhh, ohhh!
Can't this situation is desperate??
Don't worry, I got somebody who'll fix you right up. Crewman!
CREWMAN GEM enters, sensing everybody's pain.
(continuing)
Let's go, men.
Right, sir.
Jackson and his men leave.
Help me!
Gem responds to his 'pain', assumes it herself, and heals herself.
Oh, um...
Well, now I feel great. Thanks. Any more bright ideas, 'Comrade'?
EXT. KAHN'S MACHINE BUILDING - DAY
Not much is happening.
INT. KAHN'S MACHINE ROOM - DAY
Kirk and Spock are putting finishing touches on a rig connecting the swishing and trembling Horta to the glass cylinder. Explosive charges have been placed in a circular configuration connected to a timing device.
Another massive block of titanium is set up between the Horta and the glass. Wires extend down from the explosives to end in a network covering the Horta.
Spock sets the timer.
Mutht we do thith?
You won't feel a thing. Well, maybe a twinge of pain. Spock, let's go.
Kirk and Spock run out of the room.
Pain?? Wait for me! De pain, de pain!
The Horta stops, turns around for a second, then back around. Perhaps a RIM-SHOT to cap this groaner. It swishes some more.
When is it going, Spock?
Precisely... now, Captain!
Silence.
Spock?
I seem to have... miscalculated, Captain.
More silence.
That's okay, Spock.
(pause)
Is it ever going to detonate?
I believe so, sir.
Silence again.
How soon?
Suddenly, the explosives BLOW the circular piece of glass OUTWARD and a RIBBON OF PLASMA REACHES OUT and ENCOMPASSES the Horta.
The Horta shivers and shakes, then pushes the titanium into the blast hole.
It has trouble, stops, swishes back and rushes forward, pushing it in successfully.
The titanium HANGS in the field as the Horta rushes back, no longer encompassed by the plasma flow.
The inner field of the glass cylinder and the titanium GLOW bright PINK...
...then GREEN...
...then RED...
...then EXPLODE.
The lights of the room DIM.
EXT. ENTERPRISE - DAY - ESTABLISHING
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
As before. All eyes are on
THE SPACE INTERFACE,
which SHIMMERS on the main view screen. Coming through it is a Romulan warship made of popsicle sticks.
Another Romulan warsheep. They deedn't listen to us, Meestare Scoatt.
Aye, laddie. A senseless waste, too. But Ah canna say Ah've ever seen a skiff lookin' like that one.
They're nearing one of the depth charges.
Try to warn them, Lieutenant.
Aye, sir.
Before Uhura can attempt to call the Romulan ship, it nears a GLOWING torpedo. The torpedo EXPLODES...
...and the popsicle stick ship SHATTERS.
They called our bluff, and we weren't bluffing. Let's see of they call tha other one.
INT. BRIG - DAY
Gem is attempting to guard the door, but is having a hard time because Kahn, Teel, and the other Romulans are all going through powerful emotional states, and she's feeling all of them and trying to cure everybody.
Finally, Kahn staggers over to the doorway and pantomimes pressing the buttons with which to suspend the force field.
Gem mimics him and TURNS OFF the force field.
As the intruders swarm out of the room, Kahn leans over and takes Gem's hand momentarily.
That was most... gratifying.
He imagines one final act before letting go of her hand.
Gem flinches in surprise as if she'd been goosed, then passes out with a satisfied smile.
(continuing)
To the Bridge, all of you!
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
McCoy enters the Bridge in a rage during the following.
Well, did we scare 'um, Mr. Sulu?
The other Romulan ships are still in pursuit, Mr. Scott.
Blazes, can't they take a hint?
Doctor, what brings you here?
They needed me for that line. Impact, you know.
The Bridge door opens, and our Pretty Yeoman enters, this time with a stack of pizzas.
Awright, who da hell ordered da sausage-pepperoni? C'mon, I ain't got awl day.
Jackson raises his hand and she brings him his pizza. She continues to distribute pizza during the following.
Space interface growing weaker, Meestare Scott, but still strong enough to allow more sheeps through.
Contact with landing party, Mr. Scott.
Scotty, what's going on up there?
INT. KAHN'S MACHINE ROOM - DAY
Kirk speaks into the communicator. Spock monitors the power core with his tricorder. The poor Horta is a SMOKING crisp, but it's still swishing.
The plasma field SPUTTERS erratically as it strains to melt or disintegrate the titanium in its path.
Space interface weakening, but still there, sar.
We may need more titanium. The field is melting through what we have in there now.
Scotty, can you send us more titanium?
Aye, sar. What -- What tha devil --?
Scotty! Scotty, what's happening??
I have your ship, Captain Kirk.
I see.
(to Spock, whispering)
Spock, destroy that field now! Now, Spock!
Spock nods and goes into action, picking up everything in sight and tossing it into the field.
I have your ship. I have your crew. I have all your power, James Kirk.
And I have yours.
You may do what you wish with that primitive contraption. I have no further need of it. Only be careful not to destroy yourselves. And now my friend, it is good-bye.
The communication line CLICKS DEAD.
Kahn sits in the Command Chair with Teel at his side. The other Romulans have manned the various stations around the Bridge. Two of them guard Scott, Chekov, Uhura, Jackson, the Pretty Yeoman, and a sputtering McCoy. ONE OF THE ROMULANS is played by the actor who plays Jackson.
We must notify your people that you are safe.
Yes, my lord.
'My lord'? You can barely address me as 'sir'.
You'll never get away with it, you hear me?
Someone put that man to rest.
Romulan 1 menaces McCoy with a nasty-looking weapon, but before he can do away with him, the Pretty Yeoman hands him a pizza, into which he dives delightedly.
Other ships notified, my lord.
Excellent. Cut off the life-support systems for the rest of the ship. Make the process last, perhaps ten minutes will be slow and painful enough. We do not need any of the other crew members, but perhaps we should not rid ourselves of them too quickly.
Yes, my lord.
Feelthy peeg!
If I had understood that last, heh-heh, remark, I'm sure I would be insulted. But as your thick accent prevented me, you are spared.
I called you a feelthy peeg, you dirty cossack!
Intruder approaching, my lord.
Mr. Scott! That's the Titanic!
Aye, lassie.
Destroy them.
ON THE VIEW SCREEN,
a bloated, clumsy hulk FLOATS toward the Enterprise: the Titanic.
It's going into battle!
The Titanic is indeed going into battle. It RAMS INTO one of the Romulan Tinkertoy ships at top speed.
That ship COLLIDES in turn with the second Romulan ship...
...which then COLLIDES with the third Romulan ship.
All three Romulan ships and the Titanic EXPLODE.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
Centurion, notify Command that we have... lost three ships. Have them send as many more through the interface as possible.
But sir, the interface is weakening. Their captain is on the planet dismantling it.
It's open now, isn't it??
Do not question his orders, my friend.
Yes my lord.
Seven minutes of life support left.
INT. ENTERPRISE CORRIDOR - DAY
Crewmen are keeling over everywhere.
Suddenly, oxygen masks DROP DOWN from the ceiling like on airplanes.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
Emergency life support systems have taken over, my lord.
Aye.
Why do you keep calling him 'your lord'? He is an Earthling!
Because I have earned this man's respect. You, I am afraid, have not. Am I right, my friend?
Actually, it's that way in the script, so I...
Comrade ships in transition through the space interface, my lord.
Let us go to meet them with our prize: the U.S.S. Enterprise. Cut off emergency life-support for all decks but this one!
Yes, my lord.
INT. KAHN'S MACHINE ROOM - DAY
Kirk and Spock are still trying to destroy the plasma field.
Kahn has developed a very resilient mechanism, Captain.
Yes, we know he's a genius. But more ships keep coming through as long as this still operates!
I find little left to throw inside the field.
Something... Anything...
Both Kirk and Spock turn to look at the poor Horta.
It could work, Captain.
Yeah, but the poor little guy.
Yes.
Horta. Are you up to doing a little self-sacrifice for the safety of the universe?
Haven't I done enough already?
This is beyond anything you have done before. This is bigger, more noble than anything you could ever conceive of.
It is indeed.
Imagine your name... in... lights. Throughout the galaxy. Savior of a generation.
Your place in history will be assured.
Shining, for thousands of years. The name: "Horta, Hor --" Better yet, "The Great Horta"...
And your descendants will undoubtedly receive season tickets to all major intergalactic sporting events.
Definitely.
My dethendantth? What about me?
You will have given up everything... for them.
Say, isn't that my line?
Negative. I studied the script carefully last night, sir, and am certain --
I'll do eet!
Kirk and Spock spring into action, picking up the little monster and maneuvering him over to throw into the plasma field.
Great. You won't regret this. Will he, Spock?
Indeed. You won't live to.
You promeeth: Theathon ticketth for my dethendantth.
Of course.
They throw the Horta into the field, then run for cover.
The Horta effectively INTERRUPTS THE PLASMA FLOW temporarily...
...but PRESSURE BUILDS underneath the creature as the plasma struggles to continue its flow from floor to ceiling.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
Approaching comrade ships, my lord.
What weapons do we have at our disposal?
Phaser banks and photon torpedoes, my lord.
Why are you interested in the weaponry of this ship?
What is the status of the life support systems?
Shut down is nearly complete.
Continue, then.
Why does this ship's weaponry concern you? There is no one left to fight.
Your questions... tire me. Allow me to concentrate on the business at hand.
INT. ENTERPRISE CORRIDOR - DAY
A bunch of crewmen are standing around sucking on oxygen masks.
Geologist Jackson runs through the area with a portable oxygen tank and mask.
Everyone get down to Sickbay -- you can pick up one of these. If you have a weapon, get to the Bridge Elevator and seal off the Bridge. And clear the corridors --don't let the security cameras see the tanks. More Romulans will arrive any second.
Who put you in charge, girlie?
Two other CREWMEN try to hold off Geologist Jackson from punching out the Snotty Crewman.
Come on, let's move!
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