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Star Trek: The Most Important Voyage
EXT. ENTERPRISE - ESTABLISHING
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
CAPTAIN JAMES KIRK, imposing as usual and with only a bit of a tummy, is seated in his Command Chair. First Officer SPOCK is at the library computer and Officers SULU and CHEKOV are at the helm. LT. UHURA is seated behind Kirk at the Communications Console, communicating. Spock is assisted by the ever-eager young CREWMAN JACKSON.
Captain's log, stardate 4917.4. We are en route to Gamma Epsilon VII to transport a load of medical supplies to an Earth colony on the planet. Due to the routine nature of this voyage we are taking the opportunity to train a number of new crewmen in ship's operation and are travelling on impulse power to allow Mr. Scott to conduct extensive repairs on our warp drive system.
How long to the Epsilon Colony, Mr. Spock?
Perhaps the Ensign could answer that, sir.
(wry smile)
Of course, Spock.
(to Jackson)
Mr. Jackson?
At present speed, I estimate... five days, twenty-three point seven hours, sir.
Mr. Spock, I commend you on your expert training. He seems to be doing well.
I have high expectations of Ensign Jackson, sir.
I think we'll be seeing a lot more of him.
Captain, I'm picking something up on my scanner. An alien vessel, bearing 117 mark four.
Put it on the screen, Sulu. Highest magnification.
A LEGO SHIP,
that is, one made of Lego toy building bricks, appears on the main viewing screen.
(continuing)
What do you make of that, Spock?
A Lego ship, Captain.
Check the record tapes, Mr. Spock. See if there's any report of a Lego ship in this quadrant.
Captain, I'm receiving a message from the alien vessel.
Put it on audio, Lieutenant.
Uhura presses a few buttons and puts it on AUDIO.
I am Sub-Commander Teel of the Romulan Empire. Enterprise, you are violating claimed territory. Surrender immediately.
That doesn't look like a Romulan ship.
Records show the Romulans are now using a Lego design.
Inform the Sub-Commander that we are on a peaceful mission through Federation space, and that unless he wants to risk --
He's turning to fight, Captain.
Lieutenant Uhura, go to Red Alert. Prepare to defend yourselves.
(into intercom)
All hands, this is the Captain. Man your battle stations. This is no drill. I repeat, this is no drill.
TITLES
EXT. ENTERPRISE AND LEGO SHIP - ESTABLISHING
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
All eyes are on the view screen. The mood is tense. During Kirk's speech, the camera PANS the Bridge, LINGERING on a scared yeoman here, a crewman biting his nails there.
Captain's log, supplemental. Without provocation, we face attack by a Romulan ship claiming Federation territory. My attempts to contact the ship have been ignored. We are preparing to fight, but fear that this confrontation could lead to full-scale war with the Romulan Empire. Our warp drive is not functional but all weaponry is at our disposal.
Shields up, Captain. Main phasers armed, sir.
Phasers on stand-by.
(into intercom)
Scotty, how soon can we have warp power?
It's so sudden. Ah've got the parts all over tha floor down here!
Can we maneuver?
Ya can do that, sar. But acceleration would put such a strain on tha engines that tha mattar-anti-mattar shielding could break down any moment!
We need that warp speed!
We could blow up tha ship!
Power, Scotty!
Ah'm tryin', sar. An that's all Ah kin tellya.
Here he comes, Captain!
Helm hard to starboard... now!
Suddenly the ship is HIT and everyone goes flying.
He grazed our port side shields, Captain.
Continue evasive action, Sulu. Casualty report?
Sickbay reports the loss of just one... Crewman Jackson, sir.
Heavy, emotional MUSIC begins PLAYING.
Jackson... his father helped me get into the Academy. Why, I knew him --
Damage to the number eight shield, Captain. We cannot withstand another frontal assault.
Same heavy MUSIC STARTS UP again.
Number eight? I remember when number eight was installed. I myself helped with --
He's coming around again, Captain.
(into intercom)
Scotty, we need that warp drive!
INT. JEFFERIES TUBE - CONTINUOUS
SCOTT fiddles around with things in the Tube: pokes screwdrivers, etc.
Ah'm doin' what Ah can, sar. 'Tis a family tradition. For five generations Ah've been runnin' tha ship, holdin' true to tha speed. Bafore Ah go ta warp drive Ah'll close.
INT. BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Scotty, if you can't repair that shield... You're fired.
(to Jackson)
Jackson, get down to Engineering and assist Mr. Scott.
Aye, sir.
Exit Jackson.
Sulu, prepare to fire phasers. Lock on target. Fire only on my order.
Aye sir.
ON THE VIEW SCREEN
the Lego Ship makes a pass.
Now! Fire phasers!
Phasers FIRE and miss.
The Enterprise is HIT as the Lego Ship FIRES!
Everybody goes flying across the Bridge.
Shield deterioration proceeding rapidly. Total disintegration within 3.871 minutes. We must have that warp drive.
It's no good, Captain. He's too fast for us.
DR. McCOY enters the Bridge.
Jim, what in blazes is going on up here! I've got patients in Sickbay!
Doctor, due to the repairs Mr. Scott is currently effecting on the matter-anti-matter generators, we are unable at this point to accelerate beyond --
Don't give me any Vulcan details, Spock! Just tell me what's going on!
Captain, we're receiving a signal from the Romulan ship.
Establish visual contact, Lieutenant. Let's see what he looks like.
Adjusting and translating the signal, sir.
As I understand it, no member of the Federation has ever seen a Romulan.
Didn't I read somewhere that Romulans and Vulcans have common ancestors?
Indeed. But not common philosophies.
ON THE VIEW SCREEN
SUB-COMMANDER TEEL'S face appears wearing a goofy nose-and-glasses appendage.
Enterprise, this is Sub-Commander Teel. Our sensors show your shields are buckling. Surrender your ship or be destroyed.
Well, Spock, it's nice to know someone in your family has a sense of humor.
I hear those dirty Romulans don't take captives!
(to Uhura)
Ship to ship.
(to intercom)
This is Captain Kirk of the starship Enterprise. You have attacked a disabled Federation ship in Federation space. You are guilty of a wanton act of war -- unprovoked and unfounded.
We are not interested in your petty claims. Surrender your ship or be destroyed.
Spock, suggestions?
Without warp drive, this ship is effectively disabled. In chess, when a player has the king cornered, the game is over. Checkmate.
McCoy leaves, shaking his head.
Is that your best solution?
I regret that I can find no other logical alternative. It is the classic "Queen to Queen's Level Three" scenario.
They gave us that scenario at the academy. They said no one has ever come out of it a winner!
No one... except one rash young cadet.
Who was that, sir?
A man named James T. Kirk.
Queen to King's Level One.
(to intercom)
Bridge to Engineering. Scotty, you know that titanium alloy that we use for building emergency bomb shelters? The collapsed steel-nickel-plated material with super-reflecto coating and mega-sturdy triple-thick palladium casing?
No, sar.
It's got to be lying around on a shelf down there. Try using that as a temporary matter-anti-matter shield.
INT. JEFFERIES TUBE - CONTINUOUS
Scott pokes around. He is assisted by Jackson.
Aye! Ah know what ya mean, and it just might wark! That and a photon-plasma suspension system should hoold tha warp generators for at least two hours ar more. Ah'll have 'em ready for ya as soon as Ah can.
Immediately, Mr. Scott.
Aye, sar. In about five minutes ar so.
INT. BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
(into intercom)
Scotty, if you can't do it sooner than that, I'm going to have you court-martialed.
Spock raises an eyebrow at this.
Aye, sar. Scott out.
Queen to King's Level One is... it's an illegal maneuver, Mr. Spock!
Mr. Jackson, sometimes you have to bend the rules a bit.
(to Spock)
Spock, keep a close eye on that shield. Try to divert power there from all unnecessary ship systems.
Aye, sir.
Uhura, inform Star Fleet of our present situation.
Aye, sir.
Chekov, prepare to reverse course and pull up on my order.
Aye, sir.
Sulu, lock phasers on target and prepare to fire.
You got it, babe.
Mr. Sulu...
Captain, may I remind you that titanium alloy has never before been used as shielding. If it should fail...
I am well aware of the consequences, Mr. Spock.
Here he comes, Captain.
Execute, Mr. Chekov!
Everybody starts flying around the Bridge: first forward, then reverse.
(continuing)
Sulu! Fire phasers!
Sulu FIRES.
The Lego Ship is HIT!
It FLIES TOWARD the Enterprise and OVER her.
Goat heem!
Well done, gentlemen.
I must admit, Captain, your illogical approach to certain situations does have its advantages at times.
Why thank you, Mr. Spock.
(into intercom)
Scotty, how soon can we have warp power?
INT. JEFFERIES TUBE - CONTINUOUS
Scott and Jackson mess around inside the Tube.
You've got it, sar.
(to Jackson)
Laddie, hand me tha wrench, woodya?
(to intercom)
Ah'm restoring power to tha crystals right now.
INT. BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Chekov, get us closer to that ship.
(to Spock)
Spock, assess the damage sustained by the Romulans.
Their shield power is out, there is partial loss of warp drive, and life-support systems are failing. We have rendered them helpless, sir.
Suddenly the entire ship is ROCKED by a violent explosion!
What was that? Spock?
That did not come from the Lego Ship, Captain. The explosion took place on the Engineering Deck.
Scotty, what's going on down there? Where's my warp drive?
Tha titanium shielding couldn't contain tha mattar-anti-mattar reaction during start-up. It's over now.
Mr. Scott, this ship cannot sustain that sort of explosion on a routine basis.
(to Jackson)
Jackson, get down there and assist Mr. Scott.
Aye-aye, sir.
Captain, the Romulans are broadcasting a distress call. It seems to be directed toward their fleet, sir, but there are no other ships in the quadrant.
McCoy enters the Bridge.
Uhura, tell the Romulans to stand by for boarding.
(into intercom)
Mr. Scott. We are beaming over to the Romulan Ship and if anything happens to the boarding party, the Enterprise will need to be able to achieve escape velocity immediately.
INT. JEFFERIES TUBE - CONTINUOUS
Scott is in the Tube, assisted by Jackson-1.
Ten minutes at moost, sar.
Scotty, if you can't repair those engines sooner...
INT. BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
(into intercom)
...You're a great big hairy jerk.
Aye, sar.
INT. JEFFERIES TUBE - DAY
Well lad, it's back ta wark.
Enter Jackson-2.
Crewman Jackson reporting. I'm here to assist, Mr. Scott.
Scott does a double-take.
Aye, laddie.
INT. BRIDGE - DAY
Jim, do you think it's a good idea to board that ship? Wounded men get desperate, and no Romulan has ever surrendered to any member of the Federation. Spock, they looked a lot like you, maybe you can tell us something about them.
The Romulans and the Vulcans are physically very similar, Doctor, but the Romulans are highly aggressive in nature. Their race is an offshoot of Vulcan that occurred during my planet's early history. Very little is known about them other than what was discovered during the Romulan War over one hundred years ago.
Which was?
They are ruthless in battle, cruel to prisoners, and extremely fond of tasteless and vulgar displays of buffoonery. I should like to accompany you --
Denied. If I'm wrong, if it's a trap, I want you here with the Enterprise. I don't want both of us to get killed.
We could tow the Lego Ship to Gamma Epsilon and --
Gentlemen, we're debating in a vacuum. Uhura, have a repair crew check instrument damage. Also, send two security men to meet the good Doctor and myself in the Transporter Room.
(to McCoy)
Bones... those Romulans are going to need treatment.
I wish I had a chance to brush up on my Romulan Physiology.
Captain, may I point out that there will be a number of armed Enterprise crewmen against a ship of wounded. Even assuming minimal damage inflicted by our phasers, I would say that the odds of both you and I getting killed remain approximately 7964.7 to one.
7964 to one?
7964.7 to one.
Mr. Spock, I hate to use the word, but logically you might as well come along.
(to Uhura)
Uhura, notify Security. Have that new ensign...
(to Jackson)
What's his name?
Jackson, sir?
Ensign Jackson meet us in the Transporter Room. And have Scotty get up here as soon as he finished repairing the engines.
(to Sulu)
Sulu, you have the con until Mr. Scott arrives.
(to Jackson)
Jackson, carry on.
(to Spock)
Spock?
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Jackson turn to exit. As they reach the elevator doors, the doors open and two tall HOODED FIGURES stride in carrying long stick-like weapons.
You must be absorbed.
Get these guys -- Get -- Will you get out of here??
They crowd the Hoods out the doors.
EXT. ENTERPRISE - DAY
The Enterprise faces the Romulan lego ship.
INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM - DAY
Jackson-1 is at the controls. Two Security Guards are waiting. Enter Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Jackson-2 on the double.
Six to beam over, Jackson.
The landing party takes their places on the transporter platform.
(continuing)
Energize.
Aye, sir.
(attempts)
Not responding, sir.
Spock?
Spock goes over to the controls, pushes Jackson-1 roughly out of the way, and fiddles with the controls.
(continuing)
Energize.
Spock energizes.
You didn't have to push me, Mr. Spock. I'd have gotten 'round to it.
Spock goes to the platform and DEMATERIALIZES along with the rest.
INT. CORRIDOR OF ROMULAN SHIP - DAY
Jackson, the two Security Guards, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy materialize. Kirk motions to Jackson and the Security Team to look around. They look around. All have their phasers out.
There doesn't seem to be anybody around, sir. It's as if they all... disappeared.
Spock, analysis?
My tricorder shows no life form readings aboard this vessel aside from ourselves.
Malfunction?
Negative. Our instruments were in perfect working order when we left the Enterprise.
But... where could they have gone, Mr. Spock?
We're out of range of any transporter, and we would've picked up any other ships in the area, so...
(to Jackson)
Jackson, have your men check the pod bay and the transporter mechanism.
Yes, Captain.
Jackson and his men leave.
A most puzzling situation. There was not time to evacuate an entire crew, and nowhere for them to go. I can find no plausible explanation.
Frustrated, Spock?
Frustration is a human emotion, Doctor. One to which you seem to be subject quite often.
Now you listen to me, you pointed-eared Vulcan --
Gentlemen...later.
Kirk's communicator BEEPS.
(continuing; into communicator)
Kirk here.
INT. POD BAY - CONTINUOUS
Jackson speaks to Kirk as he and his men stand around looking puzzled.
Jackson here, sir. No missing pods. But there are no other visible means of escape -- the transporter hasn't even been used, sir!
INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
I see. Meet us at the beam-down point. Kirk out.
Captain, I can find nothing in the ship's log. The last entry records their second attack on the Enterprise. They even failed to report the crippling hit we made on this vessel.
Well that's a proud race if I ever saw one.
If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone is playing an elaborate game of hide-and-seek with us.
Most mysterious.
I don't like mysteries. They give me a bellyache, and I've got a beauty right now.
Kirk's communicator BEEPS.
(continuing; into communicator)
Kirk here.
Scott here, sar. We're picking up a powerful magnetic disturbance from tha fourth planat in tha Degova System ahead.
Nature of the disturbance?
No, sar. Your line is "Would it present a danger ta tha ship?"
Are you sure, Scotty?
(shouting)
Script girl!
The SCRIPT GIRL enters.
Whacha got, boys?
Isn't my motivation here to wonder what that magnetic mumbo-jumbo is on that planet? I have been charged with leading an exploratory mission.
If I may, sir, in past episodes, you have always shown your first concern to be the safety of the Enterprise and its crew.
It's true, sar.
But that kind of thing makes me sound so touchy-feely.
The line is "Would it present a danger to the ship?"
Ah toldya, sar.
Silence please, Scotty.
(to Script Girl)
I think Kirk's a scientist as well as a leader.
Philosophy break!
(shouts)
Lance, I think we'll need a few minutes here.
LANCE enters.
All right, everybody take five.
Jim, what the devil are you doing? You're the captain, not some grey-haired mad scientist! Your first worry should be about the safety of those men and women aboard the Enterprise. Leave science to mobile adding machines like Spock!
But you grant that Kirk has a vested interest in --
Jim, baby! Time is money, no?
(to Script Girl)
Lucy, give me the line again.
"Would it present a danger to the ship?"
There it is, Jimmy baby. Simple. Sweet. Painless. Can't we just say it?
Finnigan!
Kirk belts Lance in the mouth.
Too slow for ya, Jimmy-boy. I'm still twenty years old. You're an old man.
Kirk's about to hit Lance again, but McCoy and Spock restrain him.
It isn't worth it, Jim.
I suggest we continue with the scene.
Agreed.
Waiting far tha line, sar.
All right everyone, we're back on the horse.
Exit Lance and the Script Girl.
Would it present a danger to the ship?
Ah don't know, sar.
You don't know?? Why did you make me go through all that if all you were going to say was "Ah don't know"?
But sar...
I suggest we continue, Captain.
Right. We're on our way, Scotty. Meet us at the transporter. Kirk out.
Degova IV is a Class M planet, sir. Though I don't know how the Romulans could reach it --
Jackson and his men come running in.
Nothing to report, sir. Totally empty.
EXT. ENTERPRISE - ESTABLISHING
Captain's log... supplemental. The Enterprise successfully defended herself from attack by a Lego Ship, disabling the latter in the process. We have boarded the enemy ship and find it totally empty -- its crew vanished, with neither casualties nor evidence of evacuation. We are out of range of the capability of any known transporter technology. I am at a loss even to speculate what has happened.
INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM - DAY
Jackson-1 is at the controls. Mr. Scott stands by.
Enargize, laddie.
Aye, sir.
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Jackson-2 and the Security Guards MATERIALIZE.
Scotty, I -- oh, my!
Kirk stumbles off the platform.
How do you feel, Captain?
A little queasy, Spock. It must be all this beaming around.
Another one of your inefficiencies, Jackson? Your agonizer, please.
Spock "agonizes" Jackson-1 using a scary little device applied to the latter's neck. Jackson-1 screams in pain and falls limp to the floor.
Ware there any casualties, Doctor?
No, Scotty, it was just an empty shell.
Doctor, we do, however, have many injuries aboard the Enterprise. I suggest you attend to them. And you might begin with this hulk.
Spock kicks Jackson-1's body. McCoy bends and starts treating him with the HUMMING Feinberger. During the following speech it becomes increasingly LOUD and annoying.
Scotty, are you still picking up that disturbance?
Aye, sar. And it's surely coming from that planat.
Meet me on the bridge. Have the helmsman set course for Degova IV. Warp 6. Also have --
(to McCoy)
Will you turn that down??
Sorry, Jim.
McCoy turns it off.
Well, Mr. Jackson, you've had a taste. Ready for more?
Yes sir! But it all seems... like a dream.
It's no dream. Jackson's dead. As for you... Resume your post.
Yes, sir.
Jackson-2 leaves.
How's he doing, Bones?
He'll make it. Spock uses rather extreme measures, though.
(amused)
I always knew Spock was somewhat of a pirate at heart.
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