Emmett Loverde Online

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Star Trek: The Most Important Voyage

For months, I've forced my research staff to slave long into the night trying to uncover that long-lost, never-filmed script from the original Star Trek TV series (you know -- the version where Kirk got women and Spock was cool, not Deepak Chopra). The episode is called "Romulan or Reason".

Finally, several hours ago, one of my breathless assistants rushed into my penthouse office (she climbed seven flights of stairs, poor thing -- and in the cold night air) with the script of that episode, which I proudly reprint here for the first time in its entirety as a humble offering to uplift the race and for the good of personkind.

Remember -- no one has seen these words since they were first written (perhaps for good reason -- you be the judge).

Handy Scene Guide

  • The Teaser
  • A Face-Off with the Romulans
  • A Mysterious Explosion
  • Inside the Scary Enemy Ship
  • Agonizing
  • Insufficient Data
  • I Am Perfect
  • This is Tranya
  • Surrounded!
  • Let's Go!
  • The Big Face-Off
  • Jam Their Transmissions
  • You Won't Feel a Thing
  • Yes, My Lord
  • Life Support Systems
  • Hortacultured
  • It's Always Day
  • On the Poseidon
  • Absorbed Again
  • We Only Want the Girl
  • Moses Moses
  • Lame Exit Joke
  • Essential Details

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