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Stage Plays
"Emmett Loverde is a wizard with words. His absurdist old west farcical tale The Killist excels in a genre where only the best writers dare tread, and very few succeed. 'The Pinto is the Mustang of Horses' indeed! ... I am still laughing!"
-- Glenn Carlson, Director, The One Act Players of San Francisco
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Santa's LettersFull-length comedy for adults and children/youthTen-year-old Edward Krieger doesn't want Santa Claus to stop by this year. Why not? Because there's too much yelling at his house. Through his letters, Santa inspires Eddie to bring Christmas to his family and friends all year long... even when that means doing something yucky like telling his big sister that he loves her. But as Eddie's family continues to struggle with loss and new hopes, Eddie asks one more Christmas wish of The Fellow In The Red Suit. This time Eddie needs a real miracle. 2 boys/3 girls/3 men/2 women; 110-120 minutes; 7 sets. Also available as a one-act.
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Sensitivity, USAOne-act romantic comedy for teenagersA disillusioned teenager decides to expose the shallowness of his classmates by interviewing the most popular girl in his small-town high school. But she's not as crass as she first seems, and he's not the bundle of sensitivity he thinks he is. And when love blossoms it's a surprise to them both so they do what any normal teenager would: fight it. 1 female/1 male/1 either; 15-25 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00.
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The KillistOne-act Old West farce for adults and children/youthThe Killist is certain that he is the meanest thug that ever menaced a dry frontier town. But he's about to learn just how mean and scary small-town life can make you. Bone Dry, Arizona is home to Dick Stallion, the fastest-talking horse salesman ever; or Maw and Paw, who lost every one of their eighteen children to mysterious circumstances; or Chief Rain-Snow, who just might be the answer to a dry town's prayers... if he's in a good mood. Can also be performed as a radio play. 2 females/6 males/2-10 either; 15-25 minutes; 3 sets. |
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Till You Get To BarabooFull-length romantic comedyWhile attending the wedding of a dear friend a young man magically finds himself face to face with every woman he has ever loved and lost. Naturally he does a little romancing, a lot of soul-searching, and a bit of apologizing, too. 3 females/2 males (can be larger); 2 sets. Single copy: $10.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $50.00. |
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Beauty, Brains, and PersonalityComedy, one-act or full-length versionsThree friends gather for a dinner party at which one wreaks havoc by telling the others "Together we make up the perfect woman -- she's the Brains, she's the Personality, and I'm the Beauty." The three then scramble to save their friendship and self-respect -- with results both poignant and hilarious. 3 females/0 males; 90-100 minutes (full-length version) or 30 minutes (one-act version). 1 set. |
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Love FaxRomantic comedy, one-act or full-length versionsSexy barfly Kim captures the heart of uptight Hollis even as he composes a love letter to another girl. Turning men into panting puppy-dogs comes naturally to Kim... but tonight her own feelings are getting a bit out of control. 1 female/1 male/1 either; 20-30 minutes (one-act version) or 90-100 minutes (full-length version); 1 set. Single copy (one-act): $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance (one-act): $30.00. Single copy (full-length): $10.00; single amateur/community theater performance (full-length): $50.00. |
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Play How You PlayOne-act romantic comedyA friendly game of pool between lovers Sarah and Rudy goes haywire when she admits to him that she is actually a professional pool player, a fact she'd been hiding to protect his ego. Naturally, through the twisted logic that exists only between the young-and-in-love, this revelation leads to recriminations, accusations of infidelity, and more verbal foreplay. 2 females/2 males/1 either; 20-30 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00. |
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Uneasy OvertureOne-act romantic comedyStand-up comic Victor's quick wit is no match for the razor-sharp tongue of Cynthia, a woman he meets just after a show. Upon learning that she actually broke up with her boyfriend of several years during Victor's act he nearly bolts out the door... but something about her makes him stay. Could it be her kiss? Two shy people venture farther out on a limb than either has ever been before. 1 female/1 male; 20-30 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00. |
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Jesus Awakens the Little GirlOne-act inspirational comedy for adults and children/youthJust what exactly happened when Jesus brought the rabbi's daughter back from the dead? Well, when most teenagers are awakened against their will they can be pretty cranky and this one is no exception. 1 female/1 male; 15-25 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00. |
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Peace and QuietOne-act inspirational comedy fable for adults and children/youthA young man seeking "peace and quiet" attempts to purchase it from fast-talking salesman Dr. Guerin T. Gales in the form of a device designed to repel other people, but his solace is constantly interrupted by the townspeople who are following the doings of a wonderful King. When the King faces death at the hands of His enemies and the young man is given a choice to reunite the King with His mother or continue his own search for peace and quiet, he learns that one can find quiet in the world but peace only happens deep in the soul. 2 females/2 males/10+ either; 12-20 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00. |
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A Timely ManeuverOne-act romantic comedy for teenagers and adultsArrow-stiff Jane Marwood is surprised when her blind date Reggie pulls out an egg timer and sets it for five minutes. Five minutes later, she's appalled when he invites her to bed, pointing out that women supposedly know within five minutes of meeting a man how far they'll "go" with him. Chaos ensues. 1 female/1 male; 15-25 minutes; 1 set. |
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Good Business SenseOne-act romantic comedy for teenagers and adultsYuppie Barth has Good Business Sense, and tonight he's making the boardroom presentation of his life: a proposal of marriage to the equally industrious Claudia. Everything is perfect -- including the ring for which his assistants shopped everywhere. But she wants flowers and violins, not charts and graphs... 1 female/1 male/1 either; 20-25 minutes; 1 set. |
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The Maginot LineFull-length comedyKelly Maginot is throwing her girlfriends the perfect dinner party...or so she thinks. Her impossible mother, Brigitte, is in town. Plus her brother is secretly dating her friend Zoe, who just quit her job, her other friend Lorrie has postponed a wedding, and her sexy almost-boyfriend Enrique has picked tonight of all nights to declare his undying love for her even though he can't speak English and she can't speak whatever language he's using. Will Kelly make it through the evening in one piece or will she fly off the handle, pitch a fit, push people's buttons, and completely alienate everyone -- in short, will she become her mother?? 5 females/2 males; 90-110 minutes; 1 set. |
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God Answers Children's LettersShort comedy monologue for adults and children/youthHere is a hilarious peek at God answering some of His correspondence from children. Can also be performed as a radio play. 1 female or male; 5-8 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: FREE; single amateur/community theater performance: $10.00. |
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"How I Spent My Summer Vacation" By Bobby Sox, Age 8Short comedy monologue for adults and children/youthA little boy describes his summer adventures and not only illuminates the drastic changes taking place within himself but also inadvertently illustrates how his mother is putting her life back together after a divorce. Can also be performed as a radio play. 1 male; 5-8 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: FREE; single amateur/community theater performance: $10.00. |
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So Much SnowOne-act inspirational fantasy for adults and children/youthAn intriguing group of magical characters gathers in a wintry expanse to solve the mystery of where they came from -- and what's coming for them. They turn out to be toys that are about to be given as gifts to a family of poor children. A wonderful holiday fantasy featuring a wide range of parts for all ages. 4 females/3 males/5 either; 20-25 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00.
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SpotlightOne-act comedy/dramaDuring a major U.S. Senate campaign the front-running candidates both attempt to manipulate the coverage of the race to favor one over the other. The tricks each candidate employs to grab the spotlight range from the subtle to the nasty and even to the shocking as this riveting and at times hilarious story unfolds. 4 females/4 males/8 either; 30-35 minutes; 1 set. Single copy: $5.00; single amateur/community theater performance: $30.00.
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